Grief & Coming Back to the NOW

This morning my Prince weighed heavy on my heart.

I know something about grief.

The fact is....

Grief never goes away,

you just learn to live with it.

What would my life have been like if you never died?

Why did it all have to go so terribly wrong, for so long, after you died?

I know I know,

it all brought me to today...and today IS good!

But sometimes I wonder what “today” would have looked like if my life wasn’t so tragically changed.

It’s just a hole in the middle of my heart that will never be filled.

It is like a raw nerve exposed some days.

I sometimes think of the most romantic night of my entire life that night in Jamaica - surprise dinner in a gazebo by the ocean.

Live music.

A photographer.

A table set to match my dress.

It was all so thought out by Gary.

The entire dinner he was sweating and didn’t look well. I had no idea what we were going to face but something inside me always knew. I always heard that voice saying “his cancer is back, he is going to die.”

But I never let that stop me from loving him!

That never stopped me from being in the moment and even marrying him.

I knew but I didn’t care.

He was too special to not enjoy every

single moment I was blessed to have with him!

I’ll never forget the moment the doctor came out of surgery to tell me the cancer spread everywhere and there was nothing they can do. I threw everything I had in my hands, on the

ground. I heard, “he’s got 3-6 months to live.”

I wasn’t surprised but I was SHATTERED!

Have you ever felt that way ~ SHATTERED?

Here's what I have learned....

AND THIS IS IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO HEAR....

Don’t let a day go by without telling AND SHOWING your partner how much you love him/her.

NOT A SINGLE DAY!!!!!!

You never know if that’s something you might hear one day “he has 3-6 months left to live.”

I sometimes wonder....

How did I even go through that?????

I really don’t even know but here I am 18 YEARS later still feeling so much pain from losing him but in a different way. I know how to allow myself to feel the suffering of his loss and

then come back to the now.

Sometimes just writing this helps me feel better and then I come back to the now, this moment in 2026!

My life is good,

I am not complaining,

it is just a fact that after a loss like that- grief never ends.

What I know now is....

....it’s okay to feel it,

face it,

cry,

FEEL IT and

then come back to the now.

I spent too many years running from it- now I allow myself time to feel it and then come

back to the now.

Loving you for the rest of MY life my Prince.

#LoveLonger

Tell me in the comments - have you ever felt that way ~ "shattered?" Allow yourself to FEEL IT - SHARE it - I promise it helps with the grief.

NamaStaySober,

~jeannie